For one thing, it’s demeaning (we restrain animals, not people) and probably uncomfortable. For another, it has the potential to be unsafe: the pin could undo and injure the baby or the baby could become entangled in the bedding (unsurprising, since it is pinned to them).

This is not an example of safe co-sleeping, although many families do find that bed-sharing increases the amount of sleep everyone gets. The benefits of co-sleeping to the breastfeeding relationship are well-documented as well.

That said, there are things to keep in mind, if like most parents, you do share your bed with your baby some or most of the time. A recent coroner’s report in Ontario did a real disservice to families by ignoring the clear benefits of co-sleeping and failing outright to share some simple guidelines to keep baby safe.

It’s not listed in that link, but also please don’t pin the baby to the bed.

But now that they are older, like weaning/breastfeeding discussions, everyone assumes that co-sleeping is a thing of the past. Sometimes it is, but sometimes it’s not – and the new variable is that the kids have started liking to sleep together, whether one of us is there or not (we take up a lot of room I guess). It seems to be working for us now and like all things sleep related, I figure if we’re all resting, I’m not going to mess with it.

So, dear readers, what happens in your house? The poll above probably doesn’t have nearly enough variations – so feel free to comment below.

Unfortunately, it gave up while I was nursing Thomas and Isabelle was next to me – but fortunately we were all awake and no one was hurt. Dan tried to repair it, but it’s no use – the old king had just seen too much living, I guess.

On the upside, now that our mattresses are sitting on the floor, I’ve discovered that the low bed gives a really open zen feeling to the room – the old four-poster was fun, but I’m really thinking the next frame is going to reflect what’s changed since that first bed seven years ago – we’re steadier, we’re simpler and, in every sense, we’re closer to the ground.

Sleep (or lack of it) is the perennial topic of conversation among new mothers – it arises invariably and, like so many parenting topics, there are camps and there is limited overlap between them.

In broad strokes, the cry-it-out camp believes that infants/young children can be trained to sleep alone for long periods and teaching this is a parent’s duty. The family bed camp believes that infants/young children develop nighttime independence at their own pace and that parents should respond to their children’s needs whether the hour is reasonable or not. There are experts who claim to be somewhere in the middle, but frankly, either you think it’s ok to let a baby cry himself to sleep or you don’t and there’s not a lot of gray.

Three guesses which camp I fall into and the first two don’t count… Yes, our king-size bed is maxed out between the two of us, Thomas and sometimes Isabelle. Yes, there are times when Dan or I are hobbled because we spent the night with a strategically placed little foot between our ribs. For us, this is the way to maximize the total amount of sleep that we all get and still ensure that everyone’s needs are being met.

Bed-sharing isn’t necessary, but it’s a survival strategy – I don’t do sleep-deprivation gracefully. I recall standing in the hallway to our room when Isabelle was a few weeks old, asking Dan where he put the baby as she lay cradled in my arms. That was the night she came into our bed – until she set up shop in her big girl bed down the hall when she was a bit past two. This was around the same time she weaned

This is the part that frustrates me about the experts who suggest that co-sleeping is taboo and that babies should learn to self-soothe. It is entirely unreasonable to suggest that a parent (whether they are working outside the home or not) should be up and down the hall multiple times per night. The risk of falling asleep with baby in a chair or tripping on the stairs in exhaustion is obvious to anyone who has ever felt that kind of exhaustion.

It is also unreasonable to suggest that every baby is able to take the necessary nutrition in their waking hours and does not “need” to eat. I’ve now nursed two children into their second year and can tell you unequivocally that their nighttime nursing sessions are when their intake is highest. If the goal is to continue nursing until age 2 or beyond, as the evidence would suggest is best for mom and baby, health-care practitioners need to start recognizing that night nursing can be key to maintaining nursing in the busy toddler and stop treating normal nightwaking as a “sleep disorder”.

Do you have strategies for dealing with nighttime parenting?